Sleep Erases the Bad

Left for a business trip early this morning.  I left them notes and a little treat.

I thought it was gonna be easier to leave while the boys were sleeping.  It was… until they woke up when I kissed them goodbye.

This last month has been mentally exhausting as we’ve dealt with 1 ambulance ride, 3 emergency room visits, and about 11 days of having someone home this month for a variety of illnesses.  The last month has been tough trying to handle work as my kids became my priority almost 24/7.  And to be honest, that priority was getting exhausting.  After a few sick days and lack of sleep due to ER visits, I was feeling frustrated that I couldn’t get any work done.  No longer could I juggle kids and work.  Work got dropped.  And my fuse got shorter.  This weekend while up in Chicago to celebrate Joey’s birthday, hearing them say unkind things to one another made me mad.  Watching them shove another caused me to flip out them.  Asking them to repeatedly stop doing something launched me into the ‘respect’ speech.  We had a whole lot of fun this weekend.  We had LOTS of fun but my mood was not as great as it could have been.  I’m tired.  Really tired.

Even with all the frustrations, when I was preparing to leave I was still sad to leave the boys regardless of how much I’m looking forward to this business trip.  And you know what….

A good night’s sleep had erased yesterday’s frustrations from my mind and made a little heart forget he was mad at me because he didn’t get candy, along with a myriad of other ‘issues’ we all experienced in the moment yesterday.  Watching those precious boys as they slept soundly made me forget about the ‘silly’ stuff.  An early morning (almost middle of the night) goodbye kiss that awoke them from a deep sleep had erased all that for them too.

It reminds me that much of what angers or frustrates us, seemingly significant, in the moment, are not worth getting worked up about.  It also reminds me that even when we lose our cool and wish we would have handled the situation better (kids and adults included) that we get to start fresh over and over again.  It reminds me that when the base of a relationship is built on love that love always shines through.  Love wins.

In the wee hours of the morning, all that we felt was love… and I felt the boys’ arms wrapped around me giving me kisses and asking me not to go. Walking out the door to “I love you so much Mommy”, and giving 4 extra rounds of kisses… No better way to head out of town.

Tears fill my eyes as I sit at the airport waiting to board the plane, knowing that when I return there will be a whole lot of love waiting for me.  And THAT makes my life wonderful!

Looking forward to those hugs and kisses when I return already.