I’m a single mom. And I’m not letting that stop me from doing anything.
Several weeks ago, I stumbled upon a pop-up trailer for sale and I decided to go check it out. I’ve always loved the outdoors… during the day. At night, I prefer my own bed (or a nearby 4-star hotel) so this is definitely out of my comfort zone.
So what intrigued me?
- It’s something new to try
- Family time with my boys in the outdoors
- No electronics (my rule)
- Be a role model for my boys
- Give my boys a chance to be a role model for me
- Why not?
This year has been a lot of self-growth- doing things I’ve always wanted to do and exploring things I never dreamt I’d consider. This pop-up camper, complete with heat and air (I may be crazy but I’m not stupid) is just another powerful ‘I can do anything I want’ moments. And why not? Why not prove to myself that ‘I CAN DO IT MINE SELF’… a mantra my mother reminds me often that I said all the time as a kid? Why not be a great example to my 3 boys?
It’s something new to try
I get bored easily. I get bored with my workouts. I get bored with my hair style. So I have to shake things up to keep me motivated to exercise, hair is often changing in color, and why not try something new on free weekends with the boys. Trying new things makes me feel alive. Trying something I’m not comfortable is scary. You know what else? It feels pretty amazing once you’ve tackled it. Hauling the trailer, backing it up, unhooking it, setting it up, taking it down and hitching it back up with only the assistance of my 10 and 11 year old…. well that’s a pretty awesome feeling for all of us.
Family time with my boys outdoors
When we are home, the boys are either in separate rooms watching TV, playing video games, running to a friend’s house, or sleeping (we have entered the teenage years!) When we are home, I tend to spend my time doing laundry, working my Sweet Lemonade Photography business in one way or another, mindlessly scrolling through Facebook or a number of other things. The boys are older now and not dependent on me to play with them every waking minute of the day. So unfortunately, some days I wonder if I even played with them for ONE minute of the day. We all get lost in our own little worlds an we’re not actively making an effort to be in each other’s. At the camp site, we roasted marshmallows and played flashlight tag. In the morning we went tubing and the afternoon we hiked 5 miles. We were together enjoying the beauty God created.
No Electronics
That’s a rule I implemented when we bought the trailer. Joey thought the trailer would be a great place to put his X-box. Nice try kid. I, on the other hand, decided the best place for the X-box and all other electronics is at home. We live in a world where we all can very easily become dependent/addicted to electronics. Every day I’m on Facebook, IG, Snapchat, etc sharing things about my business or personal and then get distracted at everyone else’s pretty pictures spending more time on my phone. I answer phone calls and e-mails on my phone. I send questionnaires for upcoming brides and grooms on my phone. I enjoy seeing the adventures my friends are sharing on social media on my phone. My phone is always within a couple feet of me. And sometimes I need to break away from the hold it has on me. I was on it briefly a few times while camping but majority of the time it was put away.
Disconnecting can be the best way to truly connect with those you love. When you turn it all off, you realize the moments you have been losing by having your attention at a stupid screen. A conversation with my junior high boy about a girl he likes would not have occurred if we were both looking at screens. I would have missed the trick one of my boys did on a scooter if I was looking down at my phone. Bedtime laughters shared with another boy in the trailer and the sweetest ‘oh I love you mom’ would have been missed if I was preoccupied with social media. Disconnecting is critical for each and every one of us. And I found it to be completely relaxing.
My boys spend more time on their electronics than I care to admit. But when they are on them, they don’t fight with each other. They are occupied. It makes my life easier… at the moment. But easy is not always good. My kids NEED breaks from it too. Their attitudes are better when we detox from screens and their creative mind wake up from a slumber when electronics are off limits.
Without electronics, they will get bored. And that’s definitely ok. New games, challenges, races are invented when you’re bored. They played flashlight tag at the camp playground, made up some robot game in the trailer, dared each other to do silly things, skip rocks, climb trees and so much more. When you have ‘nothing’ to do, you decide your bothers aren’t the worst playmates after all. Without the distraction of electronics, stories are told and memories are made. My boys need to learn how to just be. To enjoy the quiet. To relax. Cutting out the noise also provides more opportunities to hear Jesus and I know we could all use a little more Jesus in our lives!
Be a Role Model for My Boys
I was dependent on my spouse when I was married in many ways and unfortunately that back fired. I didn’t have a clue about our finances, who our insurance was with, how much our heating bill was, never filed taxes, avoided all home repairs, clueless about our farming operation, etc. The past few years, I’ve spent learning about everything. I’ve created a family budget and soon implementing budgets for each of the boys to start learning how to manage money. Will let you know how this goes. Gonna give it the good ole’ college try.
In addition I’m tackling things around the home I never had done before. And I’m transforming Sweet Lemonade Photography from a hobby to a successful business. Had life not given me lemons, I would not have been given so many opportunities to prove to myself that I am capable of more than I believed. With each new thing I learn, the boys are seeing a woman that is not only a mom but a strong individual that is able to do anything she sets her mind to. I want them to believe they too can do anything they want when they pursue it with passion and dedication. This trailer is just another opportunity for the boys to see that. Pretty proud of myself getting that thing hauled and backed up with only the guidance of my boys. Had a man been there, I would have just let him do it. But there wasn’t a man. And guess what? I DID IT MINE SELF! 🙂
My Boys Can Teach Me
The boys had opportunities to help me and they rose to the occasion. This boy… my middle. I’m so proud of him. He and his friend got the tent set up by themselves. I allowed him to take the lead so he could teach me. He quickly figured out how to get the trailer unhitched and set up when we arrived. He was a big help in getting the trailer closed up when we were ready to leave. Kids, when give opportunities, will exceed our expectations and thrive knowing they’ve helped/taught adults. John knew this was all new to me and he didn’t hesitate to jump in, take control and get things done. My two youngest boys and two of their friends were with me on our first camping trip. Because of their help, from the time we decided it was time to pack up, we had the trailer cleaned, emptied out, closed up, vehicle packed, trailer hitched up and on the road within an hour. Sometimes I need to remember I don’t have to do it all by myself. I can ask for help. And when given the chance, I have 3 young men who do a wonderful job assisting and sharing their knowledge with me. I know he loved being the teacher while I was the student.
Why not?
Life’s too short. So why not try something new! We’re so very glad we did. What are you gonna do?
Heather is the owner of Sweet Lemonade Photography and co-owner of Sweet Darling Weddings. Life gave her a bunch of lemons (you can read a little more here) and by keeping her focus on God, finding the positive in each day, and surrounding herself with supporting, loving and encouraging people she has turned those lemons into the sweetest lemonade. This blog has been created to share her heart, her adventures and find ways to bless others. You can contact her at heather@sweetlemonadelife.com.
