Toxic People Confirm- You Are A Total Rockstar at Living Your Life!

The barrage of hateful, bullying and manipulative behavior that comes my way from time to time used to make me so angry, hurt and would leave me mentally cowering in a corner.  Plenty of ridiculousness was directed at me the past couple weeks again, and while still annoyed that my attention has to be redirected at such nonsense, my response these days is a healthier approach than what it used to be.  I find myself responding differently and asking questions.

What does this say about the other person?  What does this say about me?  What truths in the Bible can I find to encourage me to continue to love those who choose to hate?

Why do haters hate?

They are jealous, insecure, unhappy individuals who are often just seeking attention.  Often they have nothing better to do with their life than focus on others.  It’s common for the haters to focus their energy towards someone who has something they want whether tangible, emotional or relational.  Haters feel good about themselves when they put others down.

“For one reason or another, someone will find a reason to project their insecurities, their negativity, and their fears onto you and your life, and you’ll have to deal with it.” James Clear

So how can I learn from the haters?

I recently came across an article on Marc and Angel called “7 Surprising Reasons You’re Attracting Toxic People.”

Do you have toxic people in your life?  Do they influence you in detrimental ways?  Do they leave you feeling manipulated or bad about yourself after every encounter?  If so, you’re probably wondering how things got to be this way.  Despite your positive attitude and approach to life, you find yourself unexpectedly surrounded by negativity.

It might not occur to you that some of your strongest positive attributes may actually be attracting toxic people.  These people may subconsciously feel threatened by your strengths, or they may just see you as an easy target.  Either way, they will attempt to undermine or control you by limiting your peace of mind, happiness or success.

The key is not to suppress your positive character strengths, but to educate yourself so toxic people can’t use them against you.  It’s not often that I associate with toxic people but when I do it is not fun.  They can choose to suck the fun, positivity and happiness out of their life but I won’t give them the power to suck the joy out of mine.

I thought it was quite interesting though reading the characteristics that are attractive to a toxic person.  If you are dealing with haters, it’s very likely that you possess many of these amazing qualities…

• Great listener
• Extremely generous with your time
• Open, honest and trustworthy with your dreams
• Easy going
• Have a sunny disposition
• Doesn’t like disagreements
• Super positive

So, next time you feel like you’re dealing with such a hater, take it as a compliment cause you are an incredible person.  You are a rock star in life and the hater knows they will never be as good as you!

The positivity and goodness you bring to the world truly are precious gifts.  Protect these gifts from negative influences.  Invest yourself in people and circumstances that will magnify your efforts rather than diminish them.

Even though your positive traits may inadvertently attract toxic people, do not let this stop you from being who you are.  Just be aware of this reality so you can better spot danger when it arises and take positive, protective measures.

Also consider that your positive gifts have the power to indirectly transform negativity.  Just as light will dispel darkness, your light can be a shining example to those who mean well but don’t realize their toxic tendencies.  And even though you’ll need to limit your exposure to them, don’t underestimate the possibility that your example may influence them for the better, one way or the other, over the long run.

How can I still love the haters?

I went searching for bible verses that can help me focus on how I respond, how I love, how I live my life in a way that will always keep me fulfilled.  Forgiving others can be very difficult.  But I promise you… forgiving is a gift you give yourself, not the person who has wronged you.  I have a sense of peace now that was unattainable when I harbored hate in my heart.   Regardless of how deserving I felt my feelings of hate were, hate is hate.  I do not have to love the person.  While I may hate the actions of others sometimes, I CHOOSE not to let the hate consume me.  I can’t honestly say I’ve 100% forgiven ones who have hurt me the most but I can feel a monumental shift in my soul providing more happiness, joy and contentment in my life that I know I’ve made huge strides in getting there.

Hatred is a poison that destroys us from within, producing bitterness that eats away at our hearts and minds. This is why the Scriptures tell us not to let a “root of bitterness” spring up in our hearts (Hebrews 12:15).

 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,   Luke 6:27

I never hate on the people from my past because they’re the same people who evolve me to the person that I am now.  I am a happier person living a more fulfilling life today because of all the adversity I have faced.  I could go on and on about the ‘bad cards’ life dealt me.  But I won’t.  I won’t because through the storms I have found the sunshine.  God placed me on this Earth for good and I will use all that I have for good regardless of the bad I had to endure to get here.  I will praise Him in the storms.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10

The thief can take on many shapes and will steal, kill and destroy.  Don’t let the thief steal your compassion, kill your confidence, or destroy your happiness.

Critics are people who aren’t happy with themselves and love to find fault in others.  Insecure people have to make excuses and put others down to feel confident. Don’t allow them to bring you down.  Keep on rocking your life like only you can do!  Be Brave… Be Bold… Be You!

 

XOXOXO

~ Heather

 

Heather is the owner of Sweet Lemonade Photography and co-owner of Sweet Darling Weddings.  Life gave her a bunch of lemons (you can read a little more here) and by keeping her focus on God, finding the positive in each day, and surrounding herself with supporting, loving and encouraging people she has turned those lemons into the sweetest lemonade.  This blog has been created to share her heart, her adventures and find ways to bless others.  You can contact her at heather@sweetlemonadelife.com.

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